warning. mama rant.

Please stop saying things like this to my daughters:

“look, there is a girl playing soccer and she’s kicking ass!” or “that female basketball player is probably better than all the dudes on that other team.”  “see, she’s a girl, and she’s a badass extreme skier. girls can do anything boys can do!”  and “you can be anything you want when you grow up, honey, anything!”

IT HAS NEVER EVEN CROSSED THEIR MINDS THAT THEY CANNOT DO ANY OF THESE THINGS OR BE ANYTHING OR THAT ITS COMMENT WORTHY.

seriously. 

i am so sick of hearing shit like this.

i know you mean well. but my daughters. they do not need that story planted in their hearts.

they have no idea what you are talking about.

for them. there isn’t a question.  they need no validation.  

THEY WERE BORN BADASS.

and apparently unaware of what this world thinks of them as females. thank goddess.

maybe your generation needed to hear this. or maybe you needed to hear it.  maybe you grew up thinking “yeah i can do anything a boy can do” or maybe you grew up a male in apology for being raised in such a sexist culture and treating girls like objects instead of fully formed human beings. regardless. my girls do not need to come in and fight to be as good, or better. they are already good. better. the best. 

and i am sorry. i am going to rant.  because i am one pissed off bleeding out my vagina mother-fucking-mother. 

my daughters were not born seeing any kind of limitations.  they do not understand sexism or that they were born into a world that finds them less than everyone else.  they do not get the story that has been passed down forever that they really don’t have the same kind of rights as their male counterpart.  they do not get that there will be people who will try and silence them and ask them to deny every ounce of their sexuality and sensuality and intellect to make other people {men} feel bigger and better. they do not understand that they probably will fear their lives every time they walk down a street alone.  they do not yet know they will feel the need to apologize or explain every time they don’t want to have sex, say no, or disagree with someone of the opposite sex.  they will not know that they have turned in their key to feminism as soon as they decide to take on a role, any role, because there is no room for them to be all the things.

mother.

leader.

sexual.

sacred.

earthen.

blinged out.

wild.

tame.

silent.

loud.

masculine

feminine.

rude.

kind.

angry.

compassionate.


they don’t know it, but they will be asked to choose something to be. and they will have to fight to expand their choice into wholeness and they will have to burn down the word "goodness".  they don’t see yet that most likely they will be asked to back down when they speak their voice against this systemic system of "isms".  and i say most likely.

but i have hope. i do. that this is my story. not theirs. and nobody can touch them.

they are not yet living this. they are gold still.  we are living these things, us, as adults. US. not them.  and we refuse, somehow, to let go of these old stories and we continue to pass them on and on.  until we stop.

how about right now. it's one easy thing you can do.

so i am asking you.  please just let it be.  when you see a girl doing some awesome shit that typically not part of your history, or part of your media story, something has not been shown or promoted in your world,  please just say: that person is amazing.  say that.  say what an amazing talent that person has. or maybe just wow. cool. or maybe even shit i would like to learn how to be that cool. 

the thing is, females have been doing amazing shit forever. THE MOST AMAZING SHIT FOREVER. WE DO NOT NEED TO BE REMINDED IN COMPARISONS.  we are physical enigmas.  we are strong. fast. mysterious. powerful. we are fire. we are water. we are lightning. we are volcanos. we are earthquakes. we are sex. and we are grandmothers. 

OUR VAGINAS OPEN UP AND HUMANS COME OUT.

AND ALSO WE CAN ALSO SAY NO TO THAT.

MILK COMES FROM OUR BOOBS.

AND ALSO. WE CAN SAY NO TO THAT, TOO.

please do not take away their power with stories that have not even occurred them to be possible. because my daughter’s hearts hold the possibility of their world, that they are girls, and they are the best.

it’s going to be a hard road. because i love them so fucking much. i love all our children this much.  and this work, working with them, for them, is the biggest thing i have done and ever will do.  and if you have a daughter, you know what i mean. i know you do.

and if you don’t have a daughter.  please do your part to remember that these kids have no idea what the fuck you mean when you say “you can be anything you want when you grow up, little girl!”

THEY ALREADY ARE EVERYTHING THEY WANT.

EVERYTHING I WANT TOO.  THEMSELVES.

Thank you. 

xx

mama marybeth.