Salish.

 

I woke up with you burning in my throat.  

Your salt has remained in my lungs. 

Today it rose, demanding attention, 

devotion. 

Salt burning my memory. Who am I to forget? I would be nothing.

I just left you without a proper goodbye, I drove by you without looking.

I wanted to live in our meeting and our hellos and the deep affair that was carried on 

against my skin, softening my joints, clinging to my womb. 

When I left I tried not to look back 

But I just lodged my longing.

Longing doesn’t want to be lodged

Between rocks

Or ribs

Or spine.

It wants to be claimed. 

My longing for you today 

is the longing for my meaning

my craving soul

my wanting unasked

unnamed.

Which was always clear 

refreshed and refined

When I sat at your feet and listened 

To your slap and straddle 

against sand

To your silence 

Permission to 

hush

on still days 

When I walked into you

When the moon told you to move

Far back

So we could have space

To love. 

 

I sit in the woods and the sun is piercing

I can barely open my eyes

And you are so far away

Not so far, she just said.

But that is untruth

you are not just any coast

that i crave.

you are you.

salish sea. 

 

You are are own pool of mystery

Held by floating earth

one way in

one way out

Salt of forever 

Water from our tears

From our ecstacy

From our birth

From your people

That I am not

But now I am

You are you.

The only. 

 

And I have never quite loved 

Her as much as you

Your outline

The curve of your wave

The redemtion of your wet.

The sex of you endlessness.

 

You rival the sage and sky saturationg Idaho

And can compete with the warm blue of the caribbean 

But they can’t really hold a candle 

 

 Because you carry something sacred 

My babies first crawl

Their first soak of salt

my breast exposed

full and emptied

on tapestries

 year after year.

Where they untamed

And retrieved 

their ancient

soul

The whales you carried to us

The mornings we woke 

to the reflection of your light

On days so gray

they were almost dead

nights so bright 

Orange reflections on our bed

And the lightning that cracked against your edges

and made us scream

When the only thing to do was storm

And wail 

And cry

And rage

And split 

in two

many times.

again and again. 

 

 

Against you I changed

 

Against you they grew

Against you we torn apart dirt

Planted

devoured

said grace. 

Against you I died

So many times.  

Always reborn.

Baptised.

In your salt

They became wild

and I became 

A woman

Of my own choice. 

{thank you. i love you. forgive me. i miss you.}